Wednesday, 27 June 2012

To my mom - Happy Birthday!

A happy memory with my brother
and mom!

My dear sweet wonderful Mother, Happy Birthday!

On your special day I want to say not just a happy birthday but a big thank you. All my life you have always been there for me, supported me in all my decisions, good and bad. You know when to simply listen and when to give advice, you even know when it is a bad time to say “I told you so!” 

Through all the hard time, through all the heartache, real and imagined you have been my best friend, my confidant, my shoulder to cry on. Thank you! 

Through all the good times, you have laughed with me, celebrating my achievements as though your own, giving me the strength and confidence to continue with all my endeavors. Yours unshakable belief and faith in me has reassured me every step of the way!

I am so proud and blessed to have you! Enjoy your special day! 

I love you, I miss you!

Monday, 18 June 2012

Do I want a career?

I work hard, I have indeed worked hard for a while now, however I work hard because I want things. These days though I am told that one of those things I want is to work even harder and have a successful career.

Career is defined as the progression and success within one’s professional life/occupation requiring special skills and training. Trust me when I say I have plenty of training in certain areas! But why would I want professional success? I bet many of you think it is a stupid question! Having a successful career ensures that I can live well, enjoy the luxuries of life, but more importantly provide for and support my family. I can ensure that my children go to a good school and in turn get the special skills and training to have a career of their own.

Here is the problem though, a career requires an enormous amount of dedication, of both time, effort and energy as well as a gargantuan sacrifice in your personal and social life. Women are expected to strive towards a career just as much as men, it is the benefit of emancipation (or so we are told). Since the Suffragettes and before women alone or together have been fighting for equal rights, pay, and opportunity. Well we are closer now than we were before, in the west at least.

Moving on with the problem...

From an economic and professional point of view having a career is the way forward. From a purely sociological point of view it is a disaster. Imagine this:

A couple get married, both successful professionals, both would like to have a child. Now which one of them to have this child though? Oh no wait, only the woman can have the child, which would mean a career break. I am not saying that a woman cannot have a child AND a career, there are successful career mothers out there, but lets face it they are few and far between in comparison to men in successful job posts. Childbirth is only but a  fraction of that issue, I am aware. This brings me onto my next question. Who raises the children? Mom and Dad are too busy being our children are raised in the following logic/social environment :

TV - a bunch of half witted fools pump our children’s heads with happy songs about sugary food and drink and plastic toys that they MUST have. Mom and Dad will buy those due to the guilt they experience from not spending time with their children.

Books - replaced by the TV because mom and dad are too busy/ignorant to read to their children and familiarise them with the stories of their own childhood, which were not just entertaining but contain within them ethical and moral lessons about how to function in society so as not to be labeled a sociopath.

Vacations - Gimmicky theme parks full of more merchandise that mom and dad are taking the kids to because they are guilt ridden with the fact that they rarely spent any time with their kids whatsoever. See a theme anyone?

Education - a monotone, drone, one size fits all affair that dulls the brain and attempts to destroy any ability for creative or individual thought. It also can cost a pretty penny if you want it done in institutions that EXCEL in turning your child into a brainless toffyy nosed moron that will get into Harvard, Oxford or Yale and become the career man you dream him to be. (He may also enjoy wearing peoples ears as a necklace due to the lack of any real parental attention, but hey you have a successful career, it comes with a price!)

Future - Dull and uninspiring, possibly littered with some kind of substance abuse due to a lack of real belonging, and a constant need for validation. BUT they will be a successful career person...

Do I want a career? No, categorically not! I want a life, one full of my children’s faces and laughter. One spent growing old with my husband. A life where I have shared my friends’ happiness and they have shared mine. A want to be a successful human being, NOT a successful career person.

Wednesday, 6 June 2012

Vulnerable and Strong

I confess, that big stupid grin on my face is fake about 80% of the time. My friends, my real friends, they know it, they know of all the troubles that keep me awake at night. This is more a show of gratitude to them than for me. The last three years have been hard and challenging, but a few people in my life have been there every step of the way. They have seen me in my most vulnerable and broken state and given me the strength to get up and finish what I have started, to achieve my goals, and pursue my dreams.

Many believe that being vulnerable is a weakness; showing vulnerability only opens you up for deep pain and loss. I disagree. It is knowing who you can be vulnerable around, trusting them to take care of you at your most fragile and bring you back to your normal self. It is a lesson I have only learned recently and it has rewarded me with the confirmation that the people I love the strongest care about me in return.

You can gain strength from your weakest moments, but only if you allow the people you love and trust to be there and experience them with you. And if you ever find yourself with a friend that needs your support do not let them down, do not think of yourself at such moments, of the inconvenience it may cause, or the things you might miss out on.

This may seem very cheesy to you, but I am having one of my more empathic moments.It was brought on by a friend who in turn is having a very hard time. I feel powerless to help them in ways that would take their pain and troubles away. All I can do is be there and hope that it is enough.  

So to all my friends, you know who you are, I love you, I am there for you and I thank you!

[Especially you mom!]